GRIEF

Losses cause grief. Grief can hurt like a gaping wound and sicken us like a terrible plague. The loss of anything or anybody we love or really care about triggers grief. And loss in our lives—expected or shockingly unexpected—is inevitable. Because it is, it often presents us with the primary challenge that ushers in a spiritual revolution—either for the good or for the bad.

For many of us, hurt, loss, and tragedy stay on the level of raw pain. The only improvement in our condition comes from ordinary support systems and from the passage of time.

Others of us choose to keep all that is sad or bad at a level below our active consciousness. That way we lessen the intense hurt we feel, but at the same time we cancel any real growth. Then we do not truly suffer — we merely hurt for a while.

Resources available from Care and Kindness Ministries are in the form of articles that Jim Kok has written, relevant postings from our 'Thoughts from Jim' column, recommended books written by Jim Kok, and helpful scripture verses.

Articles from Care Capsules

Do Not Take My Pain From Me

Please Don't Cheer Me Up

Do You Have To Be Asked?

Don't Keep Everything Secret

The Hardest Death of All

Just Walk With Me

My Journey Through Breast Cancer

Recommended Books

Hurting, Helping, Healing

Miracle of Kindness (Chapter 3)

Thoughts from Jim

Stop Worrying; The Lord Holds On To You


Stop Worrying; The Lord Holds On To You - Part 2

What Prayer Looks Like

Just Walk With Me

Thoughts Generate Chemicals

Turning Junk Into Good Stuff

Happiness is Possible

People Need People

It's Hard to Lose Your Dad ... or Mom

Big Smile, Long Life

Life Is God's Gift

Life is a Gift - We Must Use Every Day and Cherish with all Our Heart

Select Scripture verses

John 11:32-36 When her sympathizing Jewish friends saw Mary run off, they followed her, thinking she was on her way to the tomb to weep there. Mary came to where Jesus was waiting and fell at his feet, saying, “Master, if only you had been here, my brother would not have died.”

When Jesus saw her sobbing and the Jews with her sobbing, a deep anger welled up within him. He said, “Where did you put him?”

Master, come and see,” they said. Now Jesus wept.

The Jews said, “Look how deeply he loved him.”

Matthew 5:4 You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

2 Corinthians 5:1 We know that our body—the tent we live in here on earth—will be destroyed. But when that happens, God will have a home for us to live in. It will not be the kind of home people build here. It will be a home in heaven that will continue forever.

Psalm 23 1-4 God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing. You have bedded me down in lush meadows, you find me quiet pools to drink from.

True to your word, you let me catch my breath and send me in the right direction.

Even when the way goes through the darkest valley, I’m not afraid when you walk at my side. Your trusty shepherd’s crook makes me feel secure.

Psalm 30:4-5 You who are faithful to the Lord, sing praises to him; give thanks to his holy name! …Weeping may stay all night, but by morning, joy!

Psalm 147:3-6 He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and assigns each a name. Our Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does. God puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.

 

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OFFERING CARE TO THOSE SUFFERING GRIEF

Pain doesn’t affect everybody in the same way. All human beings have the basic potential to grow spiritually from disappointments and devastation. But not all possess the mental resources, vocabulary, and insightfulness necessary to think about life below the surface. For many of us, hurt, loss, and tragedy stay on the level of raw pain. The only improvement in our condition comes from ordinary support systems and from the passage of time.

People need intimacy, not answers—that is what we must remember when we are trying to comfort someone who is hurting. Perhaps the reason that the simple gift of intimacy is so difficult to give is that it is best given with silence. However, when we are silent in the face of suffering, we run headlong into a terrible feeling of helplessness. If we talk or actively assist, we feel helpful; just “being there” confronts us with our own weakness and dependency.

Resources available from Care and Kindness Ministries are in the form of articles that Jim Kok has written, relevant postings from our 'Thoughts from Jim' column, recommended books written by Jim Kok, and helpful scripture verses. Draw from them to better equip yourself to offer help, love, and support to others.

90% of Helping Is Just Showing Up!

Ask Jim

The Vision Comes ALIVE!

Care For Me

Carpe Diem

Check Your Story At The Door

Dare to Care

Do Not Take My Pain From Me

Do Tell Your Story!

Do You Have To Be Asked

Do You Have Two Ears? Or Three?

Do You Notice My Pain?

Does It Really Show?

Don't Cheer Me Up

Don't Keep Everything Secret

The Hardest Death of All

How To Comfort 

It's Not What I Say

Just Being There

Just Walk With Me

Learn the RIGHT Thing to Say to a Grieving Soul

Naming The Elephant

Start with Listening

Two Words to Avoid

Weep With Those Who Weep

Words Make A Difference

Recommended Books

Hurting, Helping, Healing

90% Of Helping Is Just Showing Up (Chapter 1, 4)

Miracle of Kindness (Chapter 3, 4, 9)

Transform Belief Into Behavior (Chapter 6)

Thoughts from Jim

An Ideal Grief Gathering

It's Hard To Lose Your Dad ... or Mom

Listening Is Not Easy

An Extremely Kind Gift

The Gift of Tears

Just Walk With Me

A Life Formula

Ministering to the Grieving

Be 'Care'-full (Part 2)

Check Your Story At The Door

Just Walk With Me

Be 'Care'-full (Part 3)

Positive Proof About Prayer

Research on Prayer for Seeds

My Hero, Saint Tom Slomkoski

What Prayer Looks Like

Don't Just Do Something. Stand There!

More Acts of Care and Kindness

God Heals. We Walk Along Side.

A Major Mistake When Helping the Hurting

10 Tips for Helping a Hurting Person

You Are Far More Than You Think You Are !

Select Scripture verses

Luke 6:37 Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier.

1 Peter 4:10 Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully. Be generous with the different things God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be God’s words; if help, let it be God’s hearty help. That way, God’s bright presence will be evident in everything

Romans 12:15 Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down.

1 Corinthians 13: 4-7 Love is patient, love is kind, it isn’t jealous, it doesn’t brag, it isn’t arrogant, it isn’t rude, it doesn’t seek its own advantage, it isn’t irritable, it doesn’t keep a record of complaints, it isn’t happy with injustice, but it is happy with the truth. Love puts up with all things, trusts in all things, hopes for all things, endures all things.

Psalm 30:4-5 You who are faithful to the Lord, sing praises to him; give thanks to his holy name! …Weeping may stay all night, but by morning, joy!

Psalm 147:3-6 He heals the heartbroken and bandages their wounds. He counts the stars and assigns each a name. Our Lord is great, with limitless strength; we’ll never comprehend what he knows and does. God puts the fallen on their feet again and pushes the wicked into the ditch.